Holiday from hell, and a glorious Salut! milestone

Cripes, there was a short cut!
Image: tenbon

With the unwitting help of Sir Richard Branson, Salut! is taking a holiday, its first for rather a long time.

The destination is northern India, with a few days in Nepal at the end. But it is fair to say the itinerary - Abu Dhabi-London-India-London-Abu Dhabi – did not spring from the pages of the Kelly Scott guide to good travel planning.

Observant readers may recall that in her role as newsdesk secretary, serving a dozen or more Telegraph news editors, Kelly was generally regarded as the person really in charge of the place.

Needless to say, these professional failings were quickly spotted by the new mob, who promptly fired her for being, in the words of her share of the spoof page prepared in honour of assorted departing souls, "far too efficient for far too long".

Kelly would have organised my journey with a little more care. “Look at the map, Col," she’d have said, though she might have put it more bluntly. "Isn’t that India just to the right of where you're starting from?”

There were a couple of reasons for the route choices I made, or rather neglected to alter, but they are not convincing enough ones to repeat here.

While I am away, I expect the total number of hits at Salut! to get very close to, if not sail past, the 100,000 mark.

This figures reveals a gratifying level of support and loyalty, and I am especially pleased to note the increasing number of countries from which the visits are coming. Broadly speaking, everyone is thanked for taking an interest.

Please use the Comments field to discuss anything decent that takes your fancy in my absence.

Salut! tends not to attract huge numbers of responses – crikey, they sometimes dip as low as at the Telegraph blogs – but if this should change over the next couple of weeks, I will come up with some kind of prize for the best Comment posted. The best, that is to say, in my honest opinion.

Meanwhile, I should knock off a quick memo to Sir Richard and Virgin, who between them have the duty of looking after my comfort – if comfort is an option in the sort of air travel I do – on the toughest part of my crazy route. I fly with them from London to Delhi two days after touching down at Heathrow from Abu Dhabi.

Back as soon as possible, but probably not before I've triumphed over hellish organisation to enjoy a heavenly holiday.

Comments

[Bill Taylor]

Have a great trip. Travel safely, both of you. And stay away from drunken elephants (recent news item).

[Gigi]

Tut tut. Binge drinking has become a real blight on society, hasn't it? So - how any units can an elephant safely drink in an evening, then?

C'mon Bill tell us more...

[Gigi]

Oh and I do hope you have a good trip, Colin. I bet you'll get to eat some fantastic curries...

[Bill Taylor]

I should probably have added monkeys and Paris Hilton to the list, Gigi.
Indian cities reportedly are being terrorized by gangs (literally) of monkeys. They're blamed for the recent death of the deputy mayor of New Delhi, who fell from a balcony after they attacked him.
As for the elephants, I can do no better than offer this Associated Press story:
GAUHATI, India (AP) — With Rwanda off her charity calendar, Paris Hilton has turned her attention to the plight of ... drunken elephants in India.
"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite was quoted as saying by the World Entertainment News Network's Web site.
In the wake of her jail term for an alcohol-related reckless driving case, Hilton is seeking to remake her image from club-hopping party girl to world-traveling do-gooder.
Then opportunity for Hilton's "global elephant campaign" knocked last month when six parched pachyderms broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya and guzzled farmers' homemade rice beer. The elephants went on a rampage, then uprooted an electricity pole and were jolted to death.
"There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in last week in Tokyo, where she was judging a beauty contest.
Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, told The Associated Press: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk."
Another conservationist said elephant alcohol abuse was just a symptom of the real problem. "Elephants appear on human settlements ... because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, who heads Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group. "A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact."

[Lesley]

Have a wonderful time!

[Dumdad]

Congrats on 100,000 hits (nearly).

Have a great holiday; don't drink the water.

[Pete Sixsmith]

Re. the gangs of monkeys and drunken elephants; it sounds suspiciously like the 3,000 "visitors" to the Stadium of Light on Saturday - the difference being that the monkeys were better looking and more intelligent while the elephants refrained from having their large stomachs photographed by passing red tops.
Enjoy India.

[tenbon]

Thanks for using my photo: have a nice holiday: if you can afford, go in Kathmandu to Dwarikas Hotel http://www.dwarikas.com/ with my greetings to Mrs. Einhaus and her family from .....see separate email to you.

[Bill Taylor]

You're right, Pete. I have a friend (in spite of the fact that he's a Magpie fan)in the north-east who was in what he reported as a 50-bus convoy that drove under police escort from Newcastle. Before they set out, he said, passengers were read the riot act by a cop who finished with: "Now go and stuff them!" He said he was still hoarse "from singing and yelling obscenities at the Mackems." Culture will out....

[j]

Your itinerary reminds me of the bean counters who wanted to route hubby dearest from Singapore to the States via Frankfurt, rather than the 16 hours shorter but supposedly 500$ cheaper via Tokyo. The travel department were adamant they would not change the itinerary, that is until they started getting irate e-mails from the bosses, with regard to human suffering. Hubby wisest had had the foresight to forward the negative response to the big chiefs along with the professionally acceptable variant of WTF?!