There are times, and May with the sun blazing is one of them, when you could happily gather la belle France in your arms and give it a great big hug.
And there are other times, as in the bizarre case of the Bar des Cascades in the beautiful Provençal village of La Motte, on the edge of the Gorges du Verdon, when you want to whack it over the head.
Some bright spark in the French Customs department has decided that the door of the cafe is two metres too close to the door of the parish church and should therefore, presumably, move or close.
A lower court threw out the case, accepting the view as advanced by the owners, Erick and Marion Beruti, that the distance falls below the decreed minumum of 40 metres only if you go from church to bar as the crow flies.
But no one would. People intent on making the journey - and the priest has been known to do it, not only for his cigarettes and paper but also, on one occasion, for some makeshift communion wine - do so by the pavement, which involve routes of 82 or nearly 93 metres.
This was not good enough for the state prosecuting authorities, which launched an appeal, which is being heard as I write in Aix-en-Provence. They cite a 1978 prefectoral order prohibiting the sale of alcohol less than 40 metres from a church, school, cemetery or prison in towns of fewer than 10,000 inhabitants.
It's not quite a Clochemerle, since, as far as I am aware, there is no serious local argument against letting La Motte's only bar continue much as it is, serving drinks and pleasant light meals and also acting as tabac and newsagent for the village.
But it is a thoroughly farcical story, not least in the light of France's proud tradition of secularism.
As the Berutis have observed, it is an affair worthy of the
Provençal author, humorist and filmmakerPagnol . Or, as Le Canard Enchainé suggested, it is France's version of Spitting Image, Les Guignols .
When I called at the cafe, Erick and Marion were preparing to face the appeal. They had already moved premises once since taking over the premises, at the local Mairie's behest, to comply with the spirit of the local law.
My headline was inspired by one customer, probably not a churchgoer, who wondered if the authorities thought it was possible to be a couple of steps too close to God to be able to take a drink.
"It's absurd," Erik told me. "We are at the heart of village life, with so many different functions, and we get on perfectly well with the people from the church."
Let us hope the court in Aix takes a similar view........but all in its own good time, naturellement.
Submissions, I am told by Marion in an update this morning (Thursday), were duly heard. And this most complex of cases was then promptly adjourned until September 5.
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