Tony Hancock, in that unforgettable episode (seventh and final series of what began as Hancock's Half Hour but became Hancock), fretted about losing "very nearly an armful" on hearing how much blood he was expected to give after volunteering as a donor.
Joëlle's concerns were inspired by a lifelong dread of needles, to which can be added an eccentric aversion to white-coated doctors and nurses.
Only French blood, so far as she was aware, was coursing through her veins as she conquered her misgivings and responded to the notices posted all over Le Lavandou.
It did take her two goes; at first sight of those starchy uniforms, she turned on her heels and walked out again, only to return on deciding this was inexcusably at odds with her sense of civic duty.
When the doctor saw that Joëlle's blood group was the rare AB rhesus negative, she was delighted. But as she proceeded through the lengthy questionnaire about medical history, recent scrapes and so on, the problem hit her in the face.
Of course my wife couldn't give blood, the doctor said. Why, she'd answered "Yes" to the question: "Did you live in Britain between 1981 and 1996?"
This might not make her a mad cow, but it certainly means, in French eyes, that her blood could have been contaminated by BSE's human variant Creutzfeldt Jakob Disease.
So, with the baker's wife and other waiting donors looking on with goodness knows what feelings, Joëlle had to slink off, without shedding so much as a teaspoonful, into the Var sunshine.
British farmers and ministers always suspected that French protectionism, as much as health fears, lay behind France's dragging of feet on the gradual easing of curbs on British beef. The French finally fell in line when unrestricted sales of resumed in May 2006.
It is fair to add that concerns about blood donors are more scientifically based.
It would be wrong to pretend that only the French impose restrictions. But the blanket ban that stopped Joëlle becoming a donor does seem to go beyond the current policy of, for example, Britain's National Blood Service.
From April 2004, the NBS banned blood from anyone who had received a transfusion at any time since Jan 1 1980. The rules were tightened later the same year to include people who simply weren't sure whether they had or not. If readers have more information on that, or can relate similar experiences from elsewhere, their comments will be gratefully received.
In the meantime, farmers in the UK can perhaps be content that on the dining tables of France, the flesh of dead British cows is re-establishing itself as a source of culinary satisfaction.
But as Joelle's experience shows, it may be some time before the blood of British humans - or that of foreigners who made the mistake of living in the UK - is welcome for life-saving transfusions.
Recent Comments