Hunt the imitation....
Tell the averagely educated visitor from Mars, accustomed to a rigid diet of green cheese, that you are going to the restaurant with hopes of dining on frogs' legs, snails or pig's intestines and he may well raise questions about your sanity.
But with that average education of his, it is just possible that he will have heard of the easier-on-the-eye French translations: cuisses de grenouilles sautées à l'ail , escargots de bourgogne and andouillettes de Troyes (below). Especially if Martian TV - maybe one of the fancier terrestrial channels - has a Delia Smith equivalent. For all exist as classic examples of French cuisine.
But what of pastiche du poisson?
The intriguing suggestion that such a dish - it means imitation fish - may be ordered in France comes from my friend, colleague and Salut! Forum contributor Craig Courtice, in his notebook from the Cannes Film festival which, with heavy heart, he agreed to attend on behalf of the newspaper we work for.
Describing some of his onerous off-duty challenges, Craig writes:
After three flights of steps you won't feel guilty dining at a charming bistro on Rue Saint Sauveur in the Place Bellevue, so named for the picturesque panorama it offers of the Côte d'Azur. My favourite was Le Coin Gourmet, which served an inspired canard à la pêche and a terrific pastiche du poisson.
None of the Brigittes, Nathalies or Joëlles consulted on the matter was able to come up with an explanation of this culinary treasure, terrific though it may be. Craig himself chose to keep further details tantalisingly to himself, and I may not see him before my own departure to Europe from Abu Dhabi later this week.
Perhaps my new readers from the Cold Mud food website will come up with the answer.
Or perhaps again, Craig's pre-Cannes Facebook status update - how on earth do I know of such things? - contains a vital clue;
Craig wishes he paid better attention in French class.
This posting began life with a promise that if Craig produced the recipe for this wonderful creation of Le Coin Gourmet, Salut! would eat its words and award him a year's free subscription.
Lo and behold, Craig returns from his European odyssey insisting that our suspicions were off-target. M le Coin Gourmet does indeed offer a fish dish he calls his pastiche. "It was actually three different kinds of fish," he tells us. "Salmon, tuna and, er, another."
The words have been eaten and, rather like most things fishy here, tasted of hammour. And since Salut!'s own travels will lead next week to Cannes (which, incidentally, Craig brought rather neatly to life with his notebook jottings), I feel a site inspection coming on........
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