The French election campaign has been, as people say of essentially dull 0-0 draws in football, absorbing. The country votes tomorrow, and then again on May 6 for the two who finish first.
Judge for yourselves but I was irrationally fascinated by this headline in the Var-Matin (I buy it daily but would have bought this edition anyway).
Exclusive: Bardot breaks her silence
Truth to tell, it came as no great surprise to see that Brigitte, who is as obsessed with the ''Islamification'' of France as Marine Le Pen, had fallen for the wicked old man's daughter and her ''I'm much nicer'' line.
But I was intriged and amused by her spot verdicts on all 10 candidates, her decision to deliver them amounting to a news event of such momentum that my confrères et conseours cleared pages two and three in its honour.
I'll leave her own preferences to last. But what did she have to say about Nicolas and Eva and Francois and Jean-Luc ... and the rest?
* Nicolas Sarkozy, president sortant, centre-right UMP (Union pour un mouvement populaire) In 2007, I was happy, content ... I'd voted for him. And how I regret it. I have met him twice, the last time when he was freshly elected to the Elysée. In front of witnesses, he told me he was going to abolish ritualistic slaughter that causes so much suffering to animals. Not only didn't he do it, there's never been so much of it than since he has been in power ... and he goes on making promises that won't be kept any more than those of 2007. Look at all those workers left high an dry after being told their factory wouldn't be closed. It's a tragedy ... there's nothing worse than the betrayal of trust
* François Hollande, the PS (Parti Socialiste) candidate and favourite to win: No! I don't even want to hear him speak. France led by a president called Hollande, it's impossible (laughs at own joke) ... it's as if we had a president called Germany ... at least Ségolène in 2007 was more seductive
* Eva Joly, Norwegian-born Green MEP and former investigating magistrate: So cute with her little foregin accent ...
* Nicolas Dupont-Aignan, MP and independent Gaullist: Ah yes, he's good. What's more, he's an administrator of my (animal welfare) foundation. He'll have his chance in 2017 ... he should align himself with Marine Le Pen. They have exactly the same ideas ...
* Jacques Cheminade, ''Progress and Solidarity'' ... I find it scandalous that people give him the 500 signatures (from mayors and other civic worthies, without which no candidate is eligible) so he can stand. It turns the election into a joke
* François Bayrou, centrist and laughably backed by a Daily Telegraph columnist as a possible winner of the 2007 election: An honest type who contents himself by taking what comes from the left and the right and coming up with a mishmash .. hasn't got it
* Nathalie Arthaud, Workers' Struggle: If she could hold her enemies' heads aloft on pikestaffs, she would ... yet she's the only one with a soft spot for animals ... very paradoxical
* Jean-Luc Mélenchon, Left Front candidate representing assorted far-left groups: The same truthfulness and strength as Marine ... unfortunately he does it in a negative, cruel, destructive way. With him, it would be back to 1789
* Philippe Poutou, another far left contender, less well known than the others. Car worker, union leader and the New Anticapitalist Party's representative in campaign: No opinion ... he's a good guy but I won't force it
* And Marine Le Pen, leader of the far-right, anti-immigration Front National?
I will vote for her. I find this woman admirable. Ritualistic slaughter remains my main hobbyhorse. It's 10 years that I've been shouting out against these practices and she's the only one to stand up to denounce the scandal of halal meat ... I found her father (Jean-Marie Le Pen, former FN leader) vindictive, arrogant. He said scandalous things. Even if he had clear, crisp ideas about what had become of our country, his way of expressing them was terrifying ... the Front National under her has nothing to do with Nazis and fascists
But wait a moment.
Brigitte may be voting Le Pen but doesn't think she can win, at least not yet. Who, then, would be her ideal president of France?
Step forward the wholly ineligible and unavailable Vladimir Putin, who has ''done more for the protection of animals than successive French presidents'': ''To run a country like Russia, you cannot be a yes man ... Let us say a president is like an old-fashioned schoolmaster ... we need one.''
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