For my latest column for The Connexion, the monthly newspaper for speakers of English in France, I contrasted recent reports of French binge-drinking with the lack of interest many in France show towards arguably their country's greatest product ...
Someone, somewhere is drinking an awful lot on the sly.
How else do we reconcile the evidence of our eyes with France’s stubborn presence near the top of international league tables for alcohol consumption?
Glancing at other diners in restaurants, or visiting French homes, my clear impression is that people are drinking less, a fair number not drinking at all.
Yet there is growing concern about binge-drinking among the young. More significantly, most analysis of global consumption still has France drinking more per capita than other countries.
Annual reports from the Paris-based Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), studying trends in 34 nations, place the French in the top three for each year since 2008.
It cannot just be teenagers, aping the supposedly cooler traditions of the British, or thirsty expats whose habits fuel the consistently high rankings. Year after year, France stands – if still able to stand - way above the reputedly big-boozing Britons now blamed by French authorities for exporting the phenomenon of what La Commission générale de terminologie et de néologie, which defends the French language against Anglo-Saxon encroachment, insists should be called beuverie express.
Yet when I go for a meal, I see couples making half a bottle of wine see them through their plateau de fruits de mer. With drinkable half-litres in carafe or bottle commonplace, 75cl between two is a rarer sight.
Enforcement of drink-driving legislation undoubtedly plays its part, and the letter of the law is stricter in France. Always remember that when Henri Paul drove Diana, Princess of Wales, to her death beneath the Pont de l’Alma in Paris, also killing himself and Dodi Fayed, his blood-alcohol level was twice the UK limit but three times the French equivalent.
Once, local newspapers in France would warn readers where and when to expect random testing. In his day, Paul probably never expected to be caught. That was 1997; vigorous spot checks have put an end to such cosy notions.
It goes beyond observance of motoring law. French acquaintances express surprise at how much alcohol is offered or expected by the British over a meal or even aperitifs. Those who move to Britain enjoy the camaraderie of office life but find after-work drinking rituals a cultural shock.
So in seeking reasons for France’s heavy-drink reputation, we must examine other factors. Binge-drinking must plays some part if, as reports suggest, almost half of those aged 18-25 – compared with a third 10 years ago - admit to having indulged with the sole aim of getting drunk.
Regional variations count, too. What I see in the Var or remember from Paris may bear little relation to what goes on in Nord Pas de Calais and Languedoc Roussillon, identified by an official research body, La Direction de la recherche, des études, de l’évaluation et des statistiques, as regions with more health problems linked to alcohol abuse.
I may also be missing out on what neighbours get up to when popping into bars to watch televised Toulon rugby games. But my wife says friends at the gym gawped when she said she drank at least one glass of wine with meals. Our GP was certainly taken aback; I was in the surgery when his eyebrows rose.
Perhaps the more telling fact is that the French are indeed drinking less. The OECD findings, based on litres of alcohol consumed each year by those aged over 15, show the 2006 average of 12.9 fell to 11.8 by 2012.
In time, there’ll be no need to wonder whether the rankings are being distorted by secret guzzling from wine lakes in Burgundy or beer barrels near northern borders.
* I love the image I've chosen but should come clean: the wine looks French, tastes quite French and has a very French name, Chateau Musar, but is from Lebanon, where I took the photo. Strong - and strongly recommended, but can be pricey
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