Smelly, but not French
The idea of the French being smelly suits froggiebashers and Little Englanders and, arguably, quite a few of those people who decide what is published by the British media.Is there the whiff of truth in the allegation, or is it a stinking lie? There are references to American soldiers turning up their noses at the personal hygiene of the young French women they 'met' (I believe they were also sniffy about English girls) and, without trying too hard, I came up with an example from Brazil and two more from the USA - all for The Connexion*, a decidedly unfroggiebashing newspaper published for English-speakers in France. In the interests of accuracy, not to mention self-preservation, I must insist the French are positively fragrant ...
It feels like re-opening the 100 Years’ War just to mention it. But another survey has reinforced the reputation of the French for being smelly.
Historians may dispute whether Napoléon wrote to Josephine from the Egyptian battlefield “ne te laves pas, j’arrive”. The stereotype, though, is alive and flourishing: when it comes to personal hygiene, the British and others are, well, a nose or two ahead of the French.
If I close my eyes, I visualise London editors with French-bashing instincts seizing on research that seems to lend the idea support.
Some French people, began the recent report on such a study, confessed to showering only once every four days. To remove doubt, the reporter did her sums, helpfully adding: “That is just once in a week.”
Worse, four in 10 “admitted that they do not shower every day and a further 11 per cent wash just once every three days”.
Leaving aside nitpicking about whether not showering necessarily constitutes not washing, there was a serious dimension. French industry, it was suggested, lost £10bn a year through time wasted as employees cleaned dirty lavatories or searched for clean ones.
The research was conducted by a reputable polling institute, BVA, but – almost inevitably - commissioned by a hygiene services company, Rentokil Initial. Its marketing chief Virginie Mallet said the French struggled to see a link between poor hygiene and illness: “The simple act of washing one’s hands after going to the toilet is automatic in some countries, but in France we have always underestimated this act.”
The findings have abundant anecdotal echoes whether or not Napoléon sent that billet doux from the front. A similar request not to wash is also attributed to Henri IV - Good King Henry – in a message to his mistress Gabrielle d'Estrées two centuries earlier.
Fast-forward and you find an American travel writer, Kelby Carr, who lived in France for a year, describing a shuttle bus ride into Paris from Charles de Gaulle airport.
“It hit me like a sledgehammer - that smell of body odour,” she wrote. “Whoa! I don't know who sat in the seat before me (or when he or she last discovered the marvels of soap and water), but it almost made my eyes water.”
In her entertaining book Blame it on Paris, another American, Laura Florand, says of the Metro: “Passengers squeezed around me … some had washed and some had not.”
To be fair, Florand was referring to a period when she loathed Paris (she mellowed) and Carr admitted things had improved while also having a go at related scourges, dog dirt on pavements and filthy public toilets.
My wife, impeccably clean, presents herself as a “French Londoner”, emphasising a distinction between national pride and city preference, but remembers the “gorgeous” scent of male deodorant and after-shave when a Paris commuter.
There is even an answer to that. Andrew Creelman, an English teacher and author working in Brazil, says a student complained of a fellow-train passenger smelling “disgusting” and decided he must be French, though he hadn’t uttered a word. “You must know French people use so much strong perfume to disguise their body odour,” she said.
And an otherwise Francophile English journalist told me being squashed alongside (male) French reporters on the press bench in a Rennes court had left her feeling nauseous.
Clearly, more than a splash of water is needed to wash away the prejudice, even if separate research has found most British women also avoid daily showers.
Yet the French do have one useful trump card in the cleanliness stakes. Who, after all, invented the bidet?
* The Connexion can be found at http://www.connexionfrance.com/
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