You cannot silence a good writer. Bill Taylor is maintaining his stream of entertaining dispatches from Toronto, the Canadian one as opposed to the village outside his boyhood habitat of Bishop Auckland.
They can all be seen at this link though beware: his first was actually a compilation of several and is therefore what we might term a long read. I may get around to dividing it into two or three ...
Even fresher notes from the trenches:
It was bound to happen. Finally a disturbed night, my sleep swept away by a tidal wave of emotions concerning virtual dinner parties via Skype or Zoom or whatever.
I know people are having them but the etiquette escapes me.
I suppose it does away with the question of “your place or mine?” But who invites whom? Who writes the thank-you note afterwards?
Do you put your heads together – remotely – to figure out the menu so you’re eating similar food and drinking, as it were, from the same bottle? Otherwise, there could be some serious plate-envy.
(Thinks: “Why don’t they serve beef Wellington and Château Lafite when we’re over there in person? They’re putting our mac ’n’ cheese and Blue Nun to shame.”)
Is it the done thing to move your iPad or laptop, depending on who’s speaking? What if you get gravy on it? Or drop your phone in the tiramisu? Is it permissible to turn the sound off when Uncle Sid starts trotting out his hobby horses?
I miss my friends badly and sharing a table with them but I somehow don’t see myself ever doing this. I just have to stop tossing and turning over it.
Bad as things are, at least we’re not bedding down in backyard air-raid shelters every night or camping out on subway station platforms the way they did during the Blitz. And a good thing, too – Toronto doesn’t have nearly enough subway lines.
I haven’t seen anything about the crime stats lately. With hardly anyone on the streets, hit-and-runs and drive-by shootings must surely be down.
Farther south, a glimmer of sense from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. In a split decision (I’m guessing Justices Quick-Draw McGraw, Butch Cassidy and his cousin Hopalong were the three dissenting voices), the court has ordered firearms dealerships closed as a non-essential service. This does not, the ruling says, contravene America’s sacred-cow Second Amendment.
Good call. The amendment may deal with the right to bear arms but it says nothing about them being brand-new ones. For the time being, just shoot each other with the guns you’ve got, okay?
Out to pick up a prescription. There’s a wildlife control van at a neighbour’s house (this is no time for the local raccoons and skunks to start getting uppity). The guy is on the sidewalk looking at his phone. As I approach, he gives me a half-smile, climbs in and closes the door. No offence intended or taken.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a transit driver or standing behind a store counter. Every time somebody comes near them, they must be thinking, “Is this the one?”
My own inner dialogue was bad enough:
Me: “My nose itches.”
Me: “Don’t touch your face!”
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